thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
