I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
birth control should be required to get into college
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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