you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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