From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
