i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
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Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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