this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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