Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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