I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
