Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
