There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
