You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
