Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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