At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
