It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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