You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
