is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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