i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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