you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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