Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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