$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
that is very illegal...i love you.
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