i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
