id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
