Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
