i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
