I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
