and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude i'm inner monologue high
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
