no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
