I just pynch a tree in the face
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
