I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
