this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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