I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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