I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize