Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
