I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Found your dick twin last night
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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