If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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