i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
