I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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