fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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