Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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