After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
