I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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