ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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