your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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