Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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