I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
