Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
