3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
