nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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