I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
