the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just blew my weed a kiss
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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