are you still at the devil's house?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
