i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
