also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This is the high leading the old right now
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
