she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
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When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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