I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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